
📍Living Room Carpet, Portland, OR
Pretend for a moment, if you will, that it’s perfectly acceptable to botch Japanese poetic tradition in the name of a restaurant chain that habitually botches Italian tradition.
You pretending? Okay.
Now that we’re on the same page, please enjoy this collection of haiku describing a typical dining experience at your friendly, neighborhood Olive Garden.
-C
An Ode to Olive Garden
Don’t order salad.
It is not the way to be.
Be human. Be soup.
Salty, garlic, oil —
Do you really never end?
‘Cause that’s too much bread.
“Cheese?” is the question.
Answer “yes” and look away.
Oops. Should have said “stop.”
Do you want dessert?
Or the meaning of your life?
You want the dessert.
Now the check is here;
Open silver rectangles.
Minty in my mouth.
Questions, suggestions, free breadsticks?
Hit me up at: writerinprogress@substack.com.
What fun! I love cheese, too.